i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
