a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize