i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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