I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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