i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
