I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
