I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
