these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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