My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
