Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
