So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize