did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
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how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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