I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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