I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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