After last night, I could never be a politician.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
