Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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