The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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