He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i think i just lost a toe
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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