is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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