dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
