I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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