Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
