Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
