I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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