Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
