I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just tell him i said nine months
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
