If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
