Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
