i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
