Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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