there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
