You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
