I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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