seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Panties = found
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize