My brain says no but my pants say off.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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