): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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