he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
