sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
