I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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