You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
