This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
you made out with another girl for some wings
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