I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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