lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
