Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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