That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
