Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
