$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
