Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
