Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
love makes seman taste better
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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