I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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