The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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