i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
