Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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