actually, I'm a sock model
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just found puke in my bra..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
