Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize