oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
