You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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