You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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